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Game of Threads: How to Dress Like a Greyjoy

House Greyjoy: isolated from the mainland of Westeros on the island of Pyke, this family is the single most underappreciated in A Song of Ice and Fire.

Bold words, I know, but when you’re defending a family whose words are “We Do Not Sow,” bold words are needed. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m a) I’m going to marry/become badass pirate queen Asha Greyjoy (Yara if you’re strictly a show-watcher) and b) Theon Greyjoy is my second favorite character—he is smarmy, psychologically complex, funny, tragic, villainous, selfish, and clever. He is also my imaginary hatefuck booty call. Well, you know… before he gets his cock lopped off by Bolton’s Bastard. He’s of no practical use to me after that. And that’s book Theon, by the way, not show Theon. (Sorry Alfie, I know this is basically crippling you on the inside, but your heart will go on.) And preferably before he… umm… *cough cough murders a couple of kids and engages in a series of blunders that leaves Winterfell in ashes cough cough*


Fuck you. This is my weird fantasy. I can overlook whatever I please and get as specific as I want. I would not be the first. (Link safe for work as long as no one is getting too close to your screen.)

Where was I? Ah yes. The Greyjoys. While most fans I encounter are either indifferent to these Westerosi Viking lords or straight up hate them, they have long been among my favorite families. Not that I’d want to join their ranks or think they’re good people—they’re bad people and who the fuck would want to live on the Iron Islands?—but they are terrible, in every sense of the word.


1. distressing; severe

2. extremely bad; horrible

3. exciting terror, awe, or great fear

4. formidably great

Most of them are also good looking and have a great, if dickish, sense of humor. But do they have a sense of style?


I think so. While one’s first instinct might be to just assume the Greyjoys would be bland and drab (again, like on the show), I think they are savvy enough to know that clothes can reflect an attitude, including an attitude of “I’m a badass and I don’t care what the fuck I’m wearing, but you know I look sort of cool, now give me all your shit before I take it from you.”

Now. We're working with a new format this week thanks to the fabulous suggestion of my fabulous office mate/fellow GoT nerd, E. So, without further ado...


Okay, a bit about this outfit. I wanted to go with something badass but sexy. Nothing says badass like a leather jacket, and I dig this one. The shirt is a crop top and I picked it out because it looks a bit like armor (suggestion from Monsieur, who loves the Greyjoys to the point of getting their sigil tattooed on him; I promised him he'd get credit) and is a nice homage to the Iron Islands. Some people may be surprised by the skirt, but again, the Greyjoys do not shy away from sexy appeal. The grey boots are classic pirate. This ring is a nod to the Greyjoy house sigil: the kraken. An important note about the jewelry!!! The Ironborn do not wear any jewelry without paying the iron price, so do consider that when accessorizing.

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